I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Randomize
