I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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