A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We got so high we made milksteak
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
