can u get pink eye on your cock?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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