So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
