i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
