Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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