I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Damn victory sex feels great
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
