he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I am naked and annoyed.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
