Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
