Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
