please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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