does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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