ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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