I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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