thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
