I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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