I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
