Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
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I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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