just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
