Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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