This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
