I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize