You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
