he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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