butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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