my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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