2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
