Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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