I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
