Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
