with your own penis?
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
