Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
