hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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