umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
love makes seman taste better
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
