We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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