matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Is it because I queefed?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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