I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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