This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
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the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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