The maid of honor just puked.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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