i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
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Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
theres a video...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight