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your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
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