She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude. I can hear the air.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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