Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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