Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah