I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.