Texts From Last Night

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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.

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  (515): Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life. http://tfl.nu/dizz
  Replies (60) Good night (591) Bad night (5011)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?

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  (203): I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon? http://tfl.nu/6yeo
  Replies (34) Good night (4469) Bad night (2418)
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  (805): View more from California

  his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk

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  (805): his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk http://tfl.nu/xwn2
  Replies (101) Good night (666) Bad night (14139)
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  (631): View more from New York

  life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...

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  (631): life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs... http://tfl.nu/upvm
  Replies (11) Good night (638) Bad night (5595)
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  (510): View more from California

  I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting

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  (510): I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting http://tfl.nu/unrs
  Replies (14) Good night (5614) Bad night (1204)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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  (702): We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside. http://tfl.nu/zfn8
  Replies (2) Good night (844) Bad night (2604)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.

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  (708): I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex. http://tfl.nu/cwao
  Replies (10) Good night (3555) Bad night (973)
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  (818): View more from California

  The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling

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  (818): The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling http://tfl.nu/93rl
  Replies (8) Good night (3881) Bad night (995)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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  (250): I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite http://tfl.nu/yccl
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (1179)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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  (414): No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student. http://tfl.nu/q9kq
  Replies (9) Good night (2237) Bad night (752)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.

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  (734): he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/43r1
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (488)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.

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  (435): some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/s9z4
  Replies (5) Good night (1207) Bad night (533)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.

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  (641): IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS. http://tfl.nu/d7hp
  Replies (17) Good night (2456) Bad night (371)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.

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  (239): Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows. http://tfl.nu/ni5n
  Replies (7) Good night (490) Bad night (258)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  With a fannypack full of drugs.

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  (712): Oh you know..Chillin with your dad. (712): With a fannypack full of drugs. http://tfl.nu/bjqx
  Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (242)

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