Texts From Last Night

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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."

  (716): View more from New York

  lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.

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  (267): Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious." (716): lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus. http://tfl.nu/bbah
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (1928)
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  (347): View more from New York

  in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

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  (347): in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him http://tfl.nu/pxgw
  Replies (134) Good night (44479) Bad night (1941)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"

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  (718): you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass" http://tfl.nu/foy3
  Replies (22) Good night (1101) Bad night (4555)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers

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  (610): she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers http://tfl.nu/sjqg
  Replies (14) Good night (909) Bad night (4313)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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  (202): I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand http://tfl.nu/1ole
  Replies (8) Good night (4203) Bad night (986)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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  (913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft
  Replies (9) Good night (4340) Bad night (836)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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  (617): Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules. http://tfl.nu/6l2w
  Replies (21) Good night (3226) Bad night (769)
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  (845): View more from New York

  "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.

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  (845): "Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life. http://tfl.nu/f41e
  Replies (3) Good night (585) Bad night (1076)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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  (+61): he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms http://tfl.nu/3nr0
  Replies (14) Good night (1773) Bad night (656)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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  (905): i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth. http://tfl.nu/negs
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (896)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I didn't know

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  (703): You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday... (410): I didn't know http://tfl.nu/kzg0
  Replies (1) Good night (1536) Bad night (489)
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  (760): View more from California

  You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.

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  (760): You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral. http://tfl.nu/a5j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1211) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

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  (703): The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker http://tfl.nu/7qsu
  Replies (6) Good night (691) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?

  (1-954): View more from Florida

  A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think

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  (954): Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early. (1-954): Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar. (954): I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am? (1-954): A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think http://tfl.nu/h7b0
  Replies (3) Good night (1337) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."

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  (505): Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you." http://tfl.nu/718r
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (536)

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