Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
