well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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