I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
