yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize