I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.