Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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