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I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
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