we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!