I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
