She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
