I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize