she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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