the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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