There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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