I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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