The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
