she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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