My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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